Due to the feedback I got from the focus group I held for my sixth draft, I have found that I need to change a lot of things. Things such as:
- The length of copyrighted footage
- Add more of my own shots
- Add more of a narrative
I have decided to include the actor in more scenes so that the viewers can relate or sympathise more to the film. Mark's current career is a music teacher therefore I feel that it's more authentic to use this in the film, as the viewers will experience his reality and daily life. However since I have chosen to do a poetic documentary, I won't be including an interview.
My teacher informed me that I have included too much copyrighted footage therefore I have cut out the majority of the visual footage from the Martin Luther King speech although keeping the audio as a sound bridge. To replace this I will be using my own footage of a time-lapse in London to represent society as a whole.
A lot of people who watched my sixth draft didn't understand why I used footage of London therefore I will be cutting out some of the shots that don't have a lot of meaning and replacing with scenes of police that I will be getting to remind the viewer the idea of police brutality as well as the actor in his workplace.
Another improvement was to add more of a narrative, I want to create the realistic idea that Mark is a black male living in the UK however due to the recent loss of innocent black lives due to police brutality and the view of the black race he faces fear of what could happen to him. I want the viewer to realise this without the film telling them directly, the close up scenes of Mark breaking the fourth wall hopefully portrays the idea that he may look like he has his life together but still lives with fear, and that he's looking directly at the viewer to convey that no one should live with that fear. To which the scenes of protests will come up and the question of value, to either sympathise or relate to.