Due to the feedback I got from the focus group I held for my sixth draft, I have found that I need to change a lot of things. Things such as:
The length of copyrighted footage
Add more of my own shots
Add more of a narrative
I have decided to include the actor in more scenes so that the viewers can relate or sympathise more to the film. Mark's current career is a music teacher therefore I feel that it's more authentic to use this in the film, as the viewers will experience his reality and daily life. However since I have chosen to do a poetic documentary, I won't be including an interview.
My teacher informed me that I have included too much copyrighted footage therefore I have cut out the majority of the visual footage from the Martin Luther King speech although keeping the audio as a sound bridge. To replace this I will be using my own footage of a time-lapse in London to represent society as a whole.
A lot of people who watched my sixth draft didn't understand why I used footage of London therefore I will be cutting out some of the shots that don't have a lot of meaning and replacing with scenes of police that I will be getting to remind the viewer the idea of police brutality as well as the actor in his workplace.
Another improvement was to add more of a narrative, I want to create the realistic idea that Mark is a black male living in the UK however due to the recent loss of innocent black lives due to police brutality and the view of the black race he faces fear of what could happen to him. I want the viewer to realise this without the film telling them directly, the close up scenes of Mark breaking the fourth wall hopefully portrays the idea that he may look like he has his life together but still lives with fear, and that he's looking directly at the viewer to convey that no one should live with that fear. To which the scenes of protests will come up and the question of value, to either sympathise or relate to.
Improvements from last three drafts; to include a title shot within the film as well as the ending credits. I also need to edit the transition pages so that I'm including more facts for the film since in my target audience research, the majority answered yes to expecting to see facts and figures within this film.
Included a title screen at the end
Changed last shot of actor
shortened the blank screens, I showed a few people the video to get their first thoughts and what they think I should change. The improvement I got from a few of them was to shorten the spaces between each scene as one of them kept getting the feeling that the film had ended.
Poster: Other improvements such as to include a quote to promote your film, and to test out other images were suggested by my target audience from my first and second drafts therefore I decided to try other images that I have that could be effective as a next test in my fourth draft for my poster. I'm waiting until I show and receive feedback from my final draft to choose a quote to place on the poster therefore I have left a text box to convey the layout I'm going for.
Review: From my first and second draft I received more feedback on how to improve, I need to improve by including the title of the film, a star rating, certification and duration so that the necessary information of the documentary is given to my audience in the review.
I have made this Skills Audit to see where I am with all the skills needed whilst completing this course. I have found that I need to work on my knowledge in postmodernism and therefore will be studying more. I also need to work on my editing overall however in Photoshop and Premiere Pro I feel more confident than I was in September.
Some of the improvements I received from my target audience were to shorten the film, especially the beginning with the speech. Also to shorten and add other protests for equality included. More improvements were to slow down some of the scenes because they're too shaky, however I've decided to keep the shakiness as I feel it's symbolic of the journey that the black race have taken. The police scene also needs to be filmed and edited to fit into the film. Therefore this is an updated draft of my film.
I have changed the order of some scenes; as they didn't make sense to some people.
I have also changed some actor scenes.
Shortened and changed the position of the Selma footage